The Definition of Insanity

CNN

“The U.S. is a divided government,” Zaslav said. “We need to hear both voices. That’s what you see. Republicans are on the air at CNN. Democrats are on the air. All voices should be heard on CNN.” —David Zaslav, CEO of Warner Brothers Discovery.

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Feeling crazy? No? Just me? Ok. Well, guess what? In my opinion, you should feel crazy. Like, if you live in the United States and don’t feel you’re losing it at least a little bit right now I want to know your secret. Is it anesthesia? Or maybe you just have superhuman coping skills vis-à-vis the utter madness we continue to live with every second of every day. It’s hashtag mental health awareness month, so it’s my duty to advise you, Well-Adjusted Person who adeptly manages their stress and heartbreak or maybe just doesn’t feel things all that deeply, to please be aware a lot of us tender-brained folks are feeling mentally challenged at the moment. Am I for one on medication? Yes. Am I for one in therapy? Yes. Am I deeply fortunate to have both those things available to me as well as an assortment of other tools cultivated over several decades of synaptically challenged life here on Earth, yes and please trust and believe I am currently using the shit out of all of them.

However. When the media mogul who controls CNN says, without a hint of irony, that the reason why they are ONCE AGAIN giving their worldwide platform to a twice-impeached, credibly accused civilly liable sexual abuser and defamer (of at least one of the 25 women who’ve alleged he harassed or physically assaulted them over the last few decades), the same person who fomented a straight-up coup when he lost the previous Presidential election, is because ALL VOICES SHOULD BE HEARD, I for one feel like I’m being shot out of a cannon straight back into county Crazytown.

I mean because remember? The attempted overthrow of our government? I know you remember. You must because we all watched it unfold live on television as it happened. And then we were reminded of it during Donald Trump’s second impeachment hearing. And then it was replayed for us very recently by the bipartisan January 6th Committee which made an extremely detailed and convincing case that Donald Trump was indeed responsible for all the terror and violence unleashed that day as though it were a shaken-up bottle of his beloved Diet Coke uncapped across the very seat of our Democracy. I mean, you broadcast those hearings, CNN, so you must know what happened. Right?

Win McNamee/Getty Images

The shattering of windows the breaking down of doors the men wearing Kevlar vests with their zip ties and their bear spray, the men using flag poles to beat in the heads of anyone in their way, the men smearing blood and feces on the walls of our Congress, the terrified representatives crouching beneath seats in the gallery, the putting on of gas masks, the high office holders being secreted away into the bowels of the Capitol, the maniacal chanting of Where’s Nancy and Hang Mike Pence, the functional gallows erected in an attempt to fully realize that last invocation, the cops who were killed or nearly killed or who died afterward from the trauma.

Andrew Hamik/AP

You remember and you know. That your personally invited guest Donald Trump didn’t just attempt a coup and then have second thoughts or attempt a coup and then express the tiniest bit of remorse. He attempted a coup, gave it a couple of years to really marinate, for all the evidence of his responsibility to be carefully laid bare before the public by the elected officials tasked with that solemn duty, and then what candidate Donald Trump said is he plans to offer full pardons to the people convicted of carrying out the violence and obstruction and conspiracy and sedition should the power of the Presidency be returned to him. So, you, CNN, are going to make absolutely sure this individual (number 1!) is the Republican nominee again because why? Those sweet sweet ratings and $. Oh, sorry, no, it’s because we, the electorate are very divided and it’s important for us to hear from both sides so we can figure out who in the heck to vote for!

I’m just saying you could have made a different choice. You could have learned a lesson from the last time like adults are meant to do when they really fuck up. A choice that would have made a lot of us feel a little bit less like we are losing our goddamned minds being returned to the exact same place we were almost 8 years ago —only worse because we actually managed to survive the last 8 years. You could have taken some responsibility for the colossal platform you provided Donald Trump leading up to his first election and the resulting chaos and suffering unleashed upon the people of this country and around the world as a consequence. You could have humbly acknowledged that your continued provision of that platform over the course of his four years in office explicitly normalized a person who was constantly (and I do mean constantly) lying to the public about matters of deadly importance (and also very stupid shit) and committing crimes. A person who made it his policy to rip toddlers from the arms of their parents, cage, and then disappear them under the literal cover of darkness.

©Amanda Guinzburg

A person who employed and encouraged a level of misogynistic, racist, and antisemitic rhetoric so extreme that, for example, counties hosting a 2016 Trump rally saw a 226 percent increase in hate crimes. For another example, reports of hate crimes against Asian Americans jumped 342% from 2020 to 2021. 342%! Lest you’re confused as to why that might be, well, in 2020 the person you’ve chosen to have back on your airwaves tonight began regularly referring to a terrifying pandemic that was on course to kill millions of people as “The China Virus” and “Kung Flu.”

Or let’s take it further back when maybe you didn’t know any better. A little memory jog for you, CNN, since you’ve clearly got a lot going on what with sending your star anchors to London in order to provide us Americans with wall-to-wall coverage of the British Monarchy’s extremely important coronation event last weekend. Donald Trump is the Mexicans are drug dealers and rapists guy. He’s the ban all Muslims from entering the country guy. He’s the I think you should inject bleach and we should nuke hurricanes guy. Stare straight into an eclipse Guy who rewrote weather patterns with a Sharpie rather than admitting he made a mistake. Guy who told you windmills cause cancer. Same guy, speaking of medicine, who sent thugs to raid the office of his doctor presumably to steal files that might reveal secrets about the realities of his natural scalp, number of acquired STIs, and levels of Adderall consumption. Guy who exposed the Secret Service to COVID rather than wear a mask when doing a one-man MAGA parade while he was still contagious. Guy who used the military to tear-gas peaceful protesters so he could pose with a prop bible outside a church and who sent unidentified Federal agents to Portland, to abduct protesters off the streets.

It’s coming back to you, isn’t it? Yes, you remember now. This is the very same guy who on an International stage in Helsinki endorsed Vladimir Putin’s denial of interference in our Presidential election over the conclusions of the American Intelligence community. Yes, yes, the same guy who later attempted to extort Ukraine. The one who wanted to withdraw the U.S. from NATO. Oh, yeahhh. That’s right! It’s the guy estimated to have made 30,573 false or misleading claims (some of us colloquially refer to these as lies) over the four years he held what is arguably the most powerful position on the planet.

Times Square Trump Impersonator ©Amanda Guinzburg

So, yes, CNN, by all means, have that guy back on your network during Prime Time in a town hall format with Republican and undecided (lol) voters of New Hampshire asking the questions! I’m sure they will be very penetrating and incisive and I mean, clearly, he’s done a lot of self-reflection since we last heard from him ten minutes ago on his bootleg Twitter so we’ll learn a lot about his journey to becoming the man he is today. I’m positive there will be plenty of time for deep questions about the coup he orchestrated and the classified documents he stole and the ongoing investigations into his various other attempts to overturn the 2020 election (at least one of which doesn’t really require much investigation since we’ve all repeatedly heard him DOING IT OVER THE TELEPHONE).

I’d love to keep talking to you about this, CNN, but someone just texted me pictures of the latest mass shooter’s Nazi tattoos and Right Wing Death Squad patch which I’m sure have nothing whatsoever to do with your guest tonight’s recent dining companions or the Daily Stormer’s 2017 decision to start publishing in Spanish. Sorry to have taken up your time. I’m just being crazy, I know.

November 7, 2020 ©Amanda Guinzburg