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Bridget LeRoy's avatar

This. All of this.

June 16 was a year off of benzos for me. And here I am, a year off the medication I took for my overwhelming anxiety and insomnia…not anxious. Sleeping better; in fact, sleeping well. No one ever told me about “reverse tolerance” or any of these possible side effects during the 24 years that medical professionals were prescribing them for me.

This is a beautiful piece, Amanda. Thank you for sharing it and a million mazels.

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Amanda Guinzburg's avatar

What we weren’t told, and what so many people still don’t know is utterly insane. A million mazels back, dear Bridget. Sweet dreams.

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David Burr's avatar

WOW!! An incredible piece, so well written and riveting. I am so proud of you and congratulate you on your 12 years of abstinence and your ability to reflect in a way to help others struggling with the demons which overwhelmed you for much too long. Keep writing...you are gifted and need to be heard. Never forget where you were and what you have accomplished. You are a special soul with a special gift. And millions more mazels.

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Jocelyn Millis's avatar

Oh Wow! What a journey into addiction with doctors and their prescriptions leading you straight into hell🌹

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Chris Law's avatar

I’m still lost in this haze. Still snatching for that penny even though it’s too deep and I never managed to learn to swim. I want to leave my body behind, it has never attracted anyone I tried to love. I want to leave my life behind, but that is frowned upon by the people who my continued misery benefits.

I’m so glad you found a way out and back to yourself.

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Amanda Guinzburg's avatar

Please stay.

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Chris Law's avatar

I’ll try.

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Abby W's avatar

Came here from your Chat GPT horror story.

I’m currently struggling with a badly herniated disc and have had issues with benzos in the past, so your experience resonated with me. Especially the way you describe both your pain and the feeling of being on opiates.

I’m so sorry for the experience that you’ve had and I’m in awe of you for making it through.

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Amanda Guinzburg's avatar

Abby, this is 14 years to the exact day (probably hour) since my last opiate. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your message, nor how sorry I am you’re going through what you are, and have been. I promise there is relief from the pain and you can find it without the nightmare I experienced. Sending you love and ease and healing. (And if you haven’t read John Sarno, please do.)

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Abby W's avatar
16hEdited

Thank you so much Amanda. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who’s been through this and that it does eventually get better. Sending you love and continued healing too. And I’ll be sure to check out John Sarno!

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Dorothy Dundas's avatar

Wow! This is beautifully written, Amanda. What a heartbreaking story. Thank goodness it is your tenth anniversary!

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Amanda Guinzburg's avatar

Twelfth!

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Dorothy Dundas's avatar

So sorry !!!

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David Burr's avatar

Don'tbe sorry...be thrilled. This is a celebration , not a downer. Great piece, Amanda, and congratulations on you r twelve years of abstinence

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Amanda Guinzburg's avatar

It will be 13 the day after tomorrow.♥️

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Papaver's avatar

45 years on methadone and hyperalgesia is real, but not one Dr has ever mentioned it to me. After a total hip replacement, a pain consultant was genuinely confused when I told them that the Tramadol, (a weak opiate), was not working to deal with the pain. And to this day I have not been talked to by Dr about coming off.

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Ron Colman's avatar

Oh my. Such a harrowing but beautiful story.

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